Love yourself

So I LOVE reality tv. I really do. I’m not ashamed. So I’m watching the VH1 reality series Love and Hip Hop. So right you already know what’s on my mind. Nope! Ya don’t! LOL I don’t want to tear down the “stars” of this show Emily Bustamente or Chrissy Lampkin. When I see them I see what every day women go through with men. I don’t think they’re really “stupid”. I want us all to do a little better. Love ourselves more. Even though you have not dealt with a relationship for six years without marriage or you may not have a boyfriend who doesn’t claim you but at some point in your life you have made a less than stellar decision about a relationship. To level the playing field I will put it out there. I suppose to make myself seem more “real” and relatable. I remember 20-22 like it was yesterday. So that I don’t drag these women down with me I will call them Sally and Keke. These were my ride or die chicks. We went through cell phones. We called the numbers back on the phone bill. Thanks to Sprint we frequently checked their text messages. We drove by the places they were to make sure they were there. Six years later I have to think I surely had lost my mind. I learned a few things. You have to let a man be a man and you chasing him and verifying his “alibi” is not going to make him love you or treat you better. Side bar I’m not into male bashing as I do think men can only do what we allow them to do. So with that said, we do have to respect and love ourselves before we expect anybody else to do so. Understand that we can’t change a man. “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks” ummm yeah same concept. Don’t attempt to change a man. If you don’t like his aspiring rap career then guess what move on? Waiting til you’re in year three to drop the bomb isn’t going to work. I can’t tell you how to react to a cheating or domestic abuse situation however I do have to ask that you use good judgment. Take your whole life into consideration not just your heart especially your children. My last thing I learned is to take a man’s word. If he says he’s not ready, he’s not ready. So you showing him how wonderful you are isn’t going to change his mind. Go with what he says. If he needs space give him that. If at any time you are uncomfortable with the direction of your relationship you can always leave. It’s not permanent. People come and go. I think that there’s someone for everyone so be patient. Wait on what’s for you. Don’t rush things. Take it at your own pace. Just because your cousin was married after six months and 3 years for your best friend doesn’t mean that is what will work for you. Treat each man as a different man. Don’t bring relationship baggage but most of all love you. He can’t love you if you don’t.